How I Turned Heartbreak Into the Ultimate Glow-Up ☀️
Four years ago, I was healing from the most difficult breakup of my life. Not because I loved him the most but because I finally came to terms with the truth: something in me needed to shift if I ever wanted to experience the kind of love my soul was craving.
I had spent the year and a half before that in a relationship where my needs were constantly unmet. I was asking for more….more presence, more emotional connection and intimacy, more clarity but he was emotionally unavailable. At the same time, his controlling and demanding nature felt suffocating. It was exhausting, draining, and ultimately unfulfilling. I couldn’t imagine a future with him, and honestly, he barely even called me his girlfriend. Yikes… I know.
So if you had told me that four years later, I would be living in Spain (my dream country) with such loving and supportive partner I would’ve cried from joy… and disbelief. But here I am.
And if you're wondering what got me from heartbreak to wholeness, here’s the truth: it wasn’t luck. It wasn’t just time. It was choice—over and over again. And the good news? These are choices you can make too.
If you're in the middle of heartbreak, longing for your glow-up, or simply ready to return to yourself, here’s the path I took- the same one you can walk starting today:
1. Stop running from yourself.
It’s tempting to escape through travel, distractions, or staying constantly busy. You might tell yourself you’re healing while on the beaches of Greece or the streets of Paris—but the deepest healing happens in the quiet moments. In the stillness of your own space. On your knees in grief. In a warm bath, celebrating the tiniest joys. Let yourself be there. Feel it all. That’s where transformation begins.
2. Do your inner child work.
Meet the younger versions of you who were ignored, abandoned, or told they were too much. Sit with her. Hold her. Show her that tenderness, safety, and unconditional love do exist. The more you nurture her, the more clearly you’ll see your patterns and the more compassion you’ll have for the woman you’re becoming. From here begin acting with more responsibility, how can you begin to care and love your inner child more?
3. Get radically honest about what you need in love.
No more dimming. No more compromising to avoid being alone. What do you really want? Drop the timeline that you need to find that special someone by a certain age because that can also cause scarcity and settling. Think about how you want to feel in the relationship, not necessarily what he has or surface level things such as his job or how he looks. Once you're clear on that, stop settling.
4. Fully process your past relationships.
Revisit the ones who shaped you, triggered you, mirrored you. Let the rage move. Let the grief pour out. Let the gratitude eventually come through. Grieve the “what ifs” and close the emotional back doors. Honor what was. Make space for what’s next.
5. Address your attachment wounds.
It’s easy to blame emotionally unavailable partners. But healing begins when you ask: Why did I keep choosing that? Start there. Notice the patterns. Heal the fears beneath them. This is how you take your power back.
6. Enforce real boundaries.
Cut the energetic cords. Stop checking in, staying “friends,” or pretending you’re fine when you’re not. Choose closure over comfort. You can’t heal a wound that keeps being reopened. This is self-respect and it’s non-negotiable.
7. Embrace your feminine energy.
Let go of the need to push, prove, or perform. Soften. Surrender. Your magnetism lives there. Let life respond to your energy instead of trying to force outcomes. That’s when aligned people and opportunities begin to show up.
8. Raise your standards and actually hold them.
It’s not enough to know your worth but you also have to protect it. Walk away when it’s not being met. Even when it’s lonely. Even when it would be easier to stay. Stop dating potential. Start honoring the version of you who knows she deserves more.
9. Romance yourself.
Enter your Best Lover Era. Take yourself on dates. Buy your own flowers. Dress for you. Treat yourself the way you’ve always wanted to be treated, not as a performance, but as a promise. To never abandon yourself again.
10. Seek support.
You don’t have to do it all alone. Let yourself be held. Find safe spaces. Invest in mentors who see the version of you you’re becoming. Healing is sacred work—and you were never meant to carry it by yourself.
So let’s wrap up my personal story… after a few months of this journey and taking the steps I listed…. something shifted. I realized something profound: you don’t have to wait years to feel free and in love. You don’t need to just “get by.” You can feel lit up, clear, and wildly in love with your life again even before love finds you. Because healing doesn’t come from time.
Time doesn’t heal. Choice does.
And it’s the hundreds of tiny, powerful choices you make each day: to not reach out, to hold your standards, to feel fully, to show up for yourself no matter what. This is what transforms you from the inside out.
What I Now Teach: The Queen of Hearts Era
Turning my pain into power has became the foundation for the work I now do with women.
Inside my signature program, Queen of Hearts, I guide women into their own Queen Era where they elevate their standards, become bold in their desires, and step fully into their feminine power. Whether it’s about healing, attracting the right partner, or learning to be more bold, this is where you reclaim your power and step into your Queen Era.
With over 5 years of client experience (and my own personal experience), I support women in rising from heartbreak into full self-worth and powerful partnership with themselves and with others.
✨ Ready to begin your glow-up?
Let’s have a heart-to-heart. I offer a free 30-minute session to explore where you are and what your own Queen Era could look like.
👉 https://calendly.com/pursuitsoftheheart/30-minute-discovery-call
You’re not too much. You’re not too late.
You’re exactly where your becoming begins.
